Hi, I’m Valda.
I help people of all ages and walks of life create healthier, happier relationships.
I guide them on how to navigate difficult times in their lives together, especially when anger or fears are high, and hope low.
I help people who long for better, deeper, more authentic relationships, but hold back because they worry about making themselves too vulnerable.
I teach skills and principles that help people communicate and solve problems better, while at the same time developing the flexibility and resilience to handle whatever life throws at them.
If you’re in a relationship that you feel needs repair or improvement, couples therapy can help.
Whether or not you’re also struggling with personal issues, couples therapy may still be a good, or even the best, option.
Good couples therapy, with a therapist who’s a good match for you, can help you overcome many common problems couples encounter during different stages of their life together.
What Issues Can You Help Us With?
Whether you’re gay or straight, young or older, traditionally married, in a de-facto relationship, or in a non-cohabitating or ‘living apart together’ situation, these are some of the areas I could assist you with:
- Managing conflict
- Drifting apart or ‘falling out of love’
- Infidelity and other breaches of trust
- Sexual issues, including porn use, affecting your relationship
- Preparing for co-habitation or marriage
- Starting a family, or blending families
- Dealing with trauma, grief, and stress as a couple
- Special challenges for same-sex and cross-cultural relationships
How Does Couple Therapy Work?
Therapy in general, and couples therapy in particular, often involves a lot of talking – but not always.
At times I’ll invite you to engage in specific exercises or activities, together or separately, during or between sessions, where talking might not be the central element.
We may look at things that are happening in your life now, or things that happened in the past, identifying and working through unhelpful thought or behaviour patterns.
I may also encourage and guide you in connecting to, and expressing, forgotten or difficult feelings. Or reflecting on family, social or cultural issues that impact on your emotional life, your relationship, or your family.
Dealing with what happens in the therapeutic relationship between you (as individuals or as a couple) and me, may also be part of the process.
I may only see you together, or we may have separate, individual sessions as well.
This will depend on your preferences and my assessment of your situation. If we do have individual sessions, we’ll discuss the ground rules so we’re all on the same page.
Couples therapy is a collaborative process between two relationship partners, and between them (as couple and individuals) and their therapist.
As such, couples therapy will work best for you if you both participate actively (and proactively) not only during sessions but also, and most importantly, between sessions.
How Will We Know That Therapy is Working?
Success will be measured not only by how well or how fast you resolve the issues that brought you to therapy, but most importantly by:
- How much better you both feel about the relationship
- What you learn about yourselves and each other
- How clear you get about your shared values and goals
- How close you get to a lifestyle that supports your values
- How able you become to accept differences that won’t change
- How much resilience you develop to handle changes that you can’t control
How To Know If Couples Therapy Is Right For You
Read the statements below and notice the ones that apply to you as a couple. If possible, have your partner do the same.
- We’re committed to our personal growth and to our relationship/family
- We’re willing to explore the situation we’re in, including how we might be contributing to our own distress
- We value exploration, self reflection and learning and are prepared to invest some energy, time and money into this process
If the above statements ring true to both of you, you’re probably suited to the type of couples therapy I offer.
If you cannot relate to them at all, couples therapy with me is not likely to work for you.
If it looks like only one of you is ready for couples therapy at this time, I recommend that the person who’s ready attend alone, at least initially.
So, are you both ready?
Do you think you are, but not your partner?
Or maybe your partner is the one pushing for it, but you’re not quite sure you’re there yet?
How To Get Started
If you think you’ve found what you’re looking for and feel ready to get started, you can call me anytime to book an appointment. 0421 176 476
If I’m not available, I’ll get back to you within 24-48 hours.